Why I hate coupons

So, I'm in line at Wal-Mart, which is probably my least favorite place to be. I've just spent 20 minutes shopping, and another 10 in line is not my idea of fun.

The couple in front of me has just finished checking out $200 worth of groceries. That takes a while.

Just as I see a light at the end of the tunnel, the woman whips out a stack of coupons as thick as the last Harry Potter book. And, of course, as the cashier begins to scan them (after picking her chin up off the floor) most of them have some sort of issue which requires her to punch an elaborate code into the machine. This adds a solid five minutes to the process. I really wish I was kidding.

It saved them a grand total of five dollars. Now, I realize five dollars is a lot of money to some people. In fact, to me it's generally a lot of money. However, at that point I was tempted to offer her five dollars just to leave right then.

There has got to be a better way for stores to handle coupons. It's a pain for the employees, and it's a pain for every customer except the one saving the money.

"She thinks she's a chip!"

Last night we were enjoying some of my wife's great hamburgers off the grill. Our family dinners, as is usually the case, degenerate into the boys making goofy faces while we all eat.

Suddenly, our cat Jinxy got a wild hair and jumped on the cabinet and up into the chip cabinet.

"She thinks she's a chip!" Conner screamed.

Maybe you had to be there, but it was really funny at the time.

Back

We made it back from Snyder about eight 'o clock last night and I'm still tired. I've got a lot of thoughts on small-town living and going home that I'll post later.

This week we've got a Business Journal issue to finish up and several other deadlines, along with the release of Crackdown, so posting may be kind of slow.

Going home

This weekend, we'll be traveling to Snyder, Texas. I spent the first decade of my life in Snyder so I'm really excited to go back and see my childhood home. We'll be visiting my aunt and uncle's place for the last time. I thought I'd take the opportunity to take my boys back and show them where I grew up.

It will probably be kind of sad. I'd previously written about it here. I'll let you know how it goes.

Drugged

I had to take a muscle relaxer today for the nerve flairing up in my shoulder. I'm pretty much done with the medicine thing. I never take drugs, so the few times I do, they knock me on my butt. It's like I'm walking around in a fog, fighting to stay awake.

I even found a few things to write about today, but can't muster the will to do so.

Oh well, no drugs tomorrow.

Taking it easy

Apparently, I'll be taking it easy today. I somehow pinched a nerve in my shoulder which basically means I have trouble moving or walking without extreme pain. So now, I've taken some Vicoden and muscle relaxers. The thing is, I never take medicine. When I do, it takes me out.

Plus, my nose is producing more snot than I thought humanly possible. Apparantly my body didn't read about what a great week it's going to be.

So here I am, just catching up on some writing and web work. If I don't answer my phone it's because slurred speech isn't very business-like.

Jack Bauergrams

When your kid has a birthday, you can sign up (for I think about $3) and have Dora the Explorer, or any number of other cartoon characters call your child on the phone. It's a prerecorded message, but they love it anyway.

Becca suggested they should do the same thing for grown men, but have a recording of Jack Bauer. I'd call them Jack Bauergrams.

I'm copyrighting that right now Fox. You hear me? I want some cash if you ever do that. Lots of it.

Good week

I'm declaring right now, it's going to be a good week. Wednesday, we should work out a deal for a semi-new account, which should be good for business.

We may also have something big to announce at church. It won't be for a couple of more weeks, but it should be great.

Plus, we'll probably be taking a trip this weekend.

Oh yeah, and my wife tells me I'm going to LOVE Valentine's day.

Should be a good week.

Good as new

Literally, good as new. The Gifford's repairman came out yesterday afternoon (I'm sorry I don't remember his name). Not only did he replace the bulb (under warranty), he calibrated my settings for me. This TV has never looked better, and saved me a lot more than the $200 I thought it was going to be.

It's a good thing too. I refused to tell Becca how much it was going to cost and she asked "Does this mean we'll be having pizza for Valentine's day?"

"And an all-you-can-smooch buffet," I answered.

She didn't think it was very funny then. She'll probably think it's even less funny written here.

So, thank you Gifford's, you restored my TV to life (and made it better than new), and saved our Valentine's day.

If you are in the market for a TV and live in the Stephenville area, give Gifford's a shot. People are always tempted to buy from the big-box stores because of huge sales. They are not going to come close to matching the service of a small locally-owned shop like Gifford's.

Our TV in the bedroom is acting funny, so we'll be in the market for a new one soon (and I'm of the opinion I need one in the office too). Will I be taking my money to Wal-Mart or Best Buy? Nope, Gifford's has earned my business as long as I live here. They've always taken great care of us.

Yes, please

According to The Digital Bits, CHiPS will soon arrive on DVD.

Growing up, this was my absolute favorite show. I think there is a picture somehwere of me riding my tricycle, while wearing my CHiPS helmet and carrying my gun. If I can find it, I'll scan it and put it up here. My mom tell me CHiPs is how I learned to tell time. I never looked at a clock, but I instinctively knew when it was coming on. She said I'd come running into the house screaming "CHiPs is coming on! CHiPs is coming on!" right on time every day.

We've got a man down!

Just over a year ago:

"Now, this 62" DLP HDTV has a bulb powering it that will eventually burn out. This isn't all bad, though because once you replace it, the TV will look just as good as it did the first time it was turned on," the salesman explained.

"What did he say?" I thought. "Something about a bulb I think. I don't know. I sorta spaced out after I heard the words 62" DLP."

"The bulb will be around $200 to replace," he continued.

"$200! After what I'm about to pay for this thing?"

"Oh well," I comforted myself, "that's somewhere in the future. Yeah, a long way away. Today I get 62 inches of widescreen high-definition glory."

Fast forward to today:

I sit down in my comfortable chair. Time for a quick game to relax after a long day's work.

The TV goes black.

"Dang kids," I think to myself, "They're always hitting the remote."

I look around. Nope, no kids in the room.

"Hey, what's that red light on the front of the TV?"

"Aw crap, it's the one labeled 'bulb'. That's not good."

"We've got a man down!" I scream.

Man I hope Gifford's can fix this quick.

Geeking out about The Noble

Doing some research this morning I noticed I had a link from Perrynoble.com.

This reminded me I haven't really written much of anything about Perry or Newspring Church. They are located in Anderson, SC and man, do they have it going on. The church has exploded in the past year and just about doubled in size. God's hand is all over their ministry and they, along with a few others, have inspired me to think bigger. We are planning some new things for our church, but it seems like I'm constantly hitting walls of doubtful people. Watching the success of others has helped me get past these doubts and continue to look at what God can do, not what we can do.

On the off chance Perry happened to be the visitor from Perrynoble.com, I just wanted to say thanks for all you do. I know your mission is to reach the people in your surrounding area, but God is using you to inspire people a long way away to reach our areas too.

And by the way, anyone who's man enough to name his son Boaz is good in my book.

If you can't say something nice ...

Speaking of "ruining the $50 controller", Cody (who is only 17 months old and unfortunately, too young for the death penalty) threw one of my Xbox 360 controllers into the back yard.

There Indiana, our blood hound, proceeded to chew the top off the left stick. I guess this is what I get for wishing harm on other people's controllers.

Slip of the tongue

During a client meeting today, something vulgar was said. It was a slip of the tongue, and not what was intended.

I'm not saying who it was, or what was said, but it was the funniest thing I'd heard all day.

I promised to write about it, so here you go.

Turns out he was right

You know Colton's instinct on not killing the killer fish. Turns out he was right. Becca took the fish back to the store only to find out it was pregnant. This is what turned the normally docile fish into a killing machine.

The interesting thing is we didn't have another kind of that fish (molly) in the tank. In the absence of another molly, it turns out they can mate with a similar type of fish, but this is incredibly rare.

The things we do

I have (had) an orange fish in my tank that has been eating the tails off the others. We gave him every chance, but today the decision came down from the governer that he would receive no pardon.

We fished (no pun intended) him out of the tank and headed for the bathroom. On the way, Becca thought the cats might like a treat. Turns out, they don't eat live fish. During this process, Colton caught wind of the fact that the little fish was not long for this world. He was upset and wanted to know if we would take the fish back to the store so he could find a new home.

I laughed and we said yes, figuring we would just go throw him in the woods (the fish, not Colton).

Nope. Becca is on the way to the store right now, to give the fish a second chance. We could buy and sell that stupid fish 100 times over for what it will cost in gas to take him back. The things we do for our kids.

Best wife ever

I just wanted to let everyone out there looking for a wife to know the best one is taken.

I came home from a fire today to discover that Becca had rearranged a good chunk of my office. It looks great. Plus, she managed to fit my fooseball table in here. What design firm doesn't have a fooseball table in the office?

She's learned not to tell me ahead of time about her interior decorating ideas. I usually tell her no, partly because I think I know best (which I usually don't) and partly because I don't like moving furniture. I never fails, though, that her ideas are great and I end up loving it.

Sour cream and onion

I’m always amazed at the power of our senses to transport us to a different time and place.

On a recent grocery run, I grabbed a bag of Ruffles Sour Cream & Onion chips. I haven’t bought them in years. Nowhere on the bag did it indicate they had recently added memories to the recipe.

It was just a normal afternoon. There was nothing remarkable about it, and that’s usually when something extraordinary happens. A few chips sounded like a great mid-day snack. As that first chip hit my tongue, I was gone.

Suddenly, I was six years old, sitting at a light brown card table in my Grandma’s living room. I was munching on a few chips while Granny, as I call her, was in the kitchen making a bowl of bean dip. The Rangers were playing a Saturday afternoon game on the TV. A game of Yahtzee was spread out on the table in front of me.

Granny walks in with the bowl of bean dip and a small plate with sliced cheese. She always spoiled me. My favorite meal at her house was chips, bean dip and cheese. Real healthy.

That one little taste of a chip brought back memories I hadn’t experienced in years. Even as I write this, I still marvel at the wonderful memories, while still being sad they will never happen again.

My brother and I would rotate spending the night with her on Fridays. She lived in a small mobile home just outside Snyder, in West Texas.

I am reminded of how much fun we used to have, but especially the little details. I remember the sound of the heater in the winter. Being a mobile home, the heat came through vents in the floor. I used to love laying by those vents, soaking up the heat. I remember watching ball games with her while she introduced me to games like Wahoo and dominoes. Always on the rickety little card table.

The porch outside was surrounded by black metal railing that seemed a little to wobbly to actually stop someone from falling off. Down the cold concrete stairs was the large circular driveway with small dips in it. When it rained, the dips would fill up and become vast oceans for my G.I. Joes to fight around.

Then, there was my first bb gun. Granny would take me to shoot cans out near the woods. I became the first grandson to shoot her when one rogue bb ricocheted off a can and hit her in the shin. She never let me forget that.

I remember her small blue car, I think it was a Chevrolet, and the trips to town we would go on. On one of those trips to the local K-Mart, she bought me a small Hot Wheels car. It was an army vehicle with moving missles and everything. I felt so special because she spent all her “silver money” on it. I think it was a grand total of seventy five cents, but I felt like royalty because she had given everything she had in her coin purse.

In the grand scheme of things, a very small part of my life was spent at Granny’s, but it continues to influence me even today.

Today Granny lives in an assisted living center in Weatherford. Her health seems to get worse week by week, and we’re not sure how long she will remain with us. When I see her now, she often mistakes me for my Dad. She doesn’t remember much, but one thing she always tells me is about the fact that Cody and I always stayed with her and “never forgot who’s turn it was to spend the night.”

They say within three generations no one will remember you. As I think of my Granny, that makes me very sad that if I don’t do something, my kids and their kids after them will know nothing of this great woman and the influence she had on my life. It’s our job to make sure no one forgets the great ones. And Granny truly is one of the great ones.

All that from a stupid little chip.

Note: I had to take a break half-way through writing this. During that break we visited my parents who informed me that my aunt and uncle are selling their land. That land was where Granny’s house was, and where I have so many memories. I’m going to take my boys and visit it one last time before it leaves the family. It’s funny how all this comes back at once, but I feel sad that a piece of my childhood will only exist in my memories.

Such a geek

My wife is incredibly cool. In fact, if you combine her coolness with her hotness (yes, coolness and hotness are words), it's quite obvious I married up. Occasionally, though, her geeky side shows through.

Of course, today wasn't one of those days.

I heard the printer on my desk hum to life. "Becca must be printing something," I thought.

The page slowly came out, one swipe at a time. It read "One Free Month." "Cool," I thought.

I walked from my office into the living room. "Hey, we get a free month," I said. "Score."

She smiled as she took the paper from my hands.

"Woot!" I yelled.

She looked at me with that "what a geek" expression.

"You know, like the website, Woot," I explained.

"Oh, I got it," she said, while sounding like she really wished she didn't.

At this point I should have taken my butt back into my office and gone back to work. But no.

"Woot means 'wow, loot'," I said sheepishly.

She just stares at me as I leave the room in geeky shame.

Start the presses

Have you ever noticed that when you're very tired, writing is a hard thing to do?

We just sent the initial layout of the Business Journal February issue off to the printer. This process involves 2 to 3 days of very intense design work. It always wipes me out. Just one final proofing meeting and about two hours worth of changes and we’ll be completely done with this issue.

A big part of the issue (and what made this one difficult) was a story we decided on last Friday. Normally we assign stories 30-60 days in advance. Starting one less than a week from going to press is never easy, but this one turned out great.

Lainey Emoto and I spent about two hours Monday with a rodeo legend named Harry Tompkins. Mr. Tompkins lives just outside Dublin, and was probably one of the greatest interviews I’ve been involved in. We went in expecting to write a short sidebar and get a few pictures. We walked out with enough great material for a full story and then some. The photos turned out great as well. Mr. Tompkins and his wife Melba where very kind to open there home to us and give us so much time. The issue with the story should be out by next Friday. I've got another future project in mind involving Mr. Tompkins if I can ever find the time.

One odd problem we had this issue was an over abundance of material. From stories to art, we had more than we needed, which is very weird considering several stories dropped at the last minute. Because of this wealth of material, my blogging article was pushed back to next issue. I guess you’ll have to wait to find out why I do this every day.

I’m off to get a little much-needed rest before starting again bright and early tomorrow. Just two more days and we have an entire weekend of relaxation planned. I don’t even have to teach Sunday so we get a break there too.

Wow, turns out writing isn’t that hard when you're tired. The key is to just start rambling.